Wanna get away?
sometimes I wonder...
i miss my very good, close friend and the good times we had every night...
what does he think?
i always consciously evaluate the way i'm portrayed by my peers...
why do i care?
i respect and love the friends I have...
do i want to be someone else?
i love the life i have...
what would it be like to live in the life of someone else?
things are more difficult now than ever...
am i ready for this?
i see how others act...
what do others think about the way i act?
i want things to be different...
is the grass greener on the other side?
i respect others...
am i respected?
i'm depressed...
can i make it through this?
i'm exhausted...
why can't i sleep at night?
what void am i trying to fill???
what does all this mean???
Things I struggle with during my day to day life...
Why does it have to be like this? Do you wonder why life is so hard? Do you ever feel like you don't exist? Does my life make an impact? Does it matter? Would others be better off if I wouldn't have come in contact with them? Am I a virus? Good or bad? What do I look like it other people's eyes? Am I really liked? Is this real? What if I just started over? How would things change? How would I change them? What would I do different? How can I become a better person? Do I want to take that step? Can I take that next step? Am I going to turn out like my dad? Can I be a good dad? What's a loving family supposed to be like? Am I making the right decisions? What's right? Can I really make a difference? Am I stuck with the decisions I've made? Is it really that bad?
Is constantly questioning everything healthy? What does it mean? Do I really care? How do I handle criticism? Am I a loose cannon? Do I really care?
Life to me is best described by the Southwest Airline commercials, "Wanna get away?" If Southwest had every commercial locked down during the next 10 superbowls, I could fill every minute of every commercial with a situation from my life. What does that mean?
Quote de jour (2) - Carpe Diem, seize the moment. Love the way you are, the decisions you've made. Trust that "every little thing, is gonna be alright."
OUT
i miss my very good, close friend and the good times we had every night...
what does he think?
i always consciously evaluate the way i'm portrayed by my peers...
why do i care?
i respect and love the friends I have...
do i want to be someone else?
i love the life i have...
what would it be like to live in the life of someone else?
things are more difficult now than ever...
am i ready for this?
i see how others act...
what do others think about the way i act?
i want things to be different...
is the grass greener on the other side?
i respect others...
am i respected?
i'm depressed...
can i make it through this?
i'm exhausted...
why can't i sleep at night?
what void am i trying to fill???
what does all this mean???
Things I struggle with during my day to day life...
Why does it have to be like this? Do you wonder why life is so hard? Do you ever feel like you don't exist? Does my life make an impact? Does it matter? Would others be better off if I wouldn't have come in contact with them? Am I a virus? Good or bad? What do I look like it other people's eyes? Am I really liked? Is this real? What if I just started over? How would things change? How would I change them? What would I do different? How can I become a better person? Do I want to take that step? Can I take that next step? Am I going to turn out like my dad? Can I be a good dad? What's a loving family supposed to be like? Am I making the right decisions? What's right? Can I really make a difference? Am I stuck with the decisions I've made? Is it really that bad?
Is constantly questioning everything healthy? What does it mean? Do I really care? How do I handle criticism? Am I a loose cannon? Do I really care?
Life to me is best described by the Southwest Airline commercials, "Wanna get away?" If Southwest had every commercial locked down during the next 10 superbowls, I could fill every minute of every commercial with a situation from my life. What does that mean?
Quote de jour (2) - Carpe Diem, seize the moment. Love the way you are, the decisions you've made. Trust that "every little thing, is gonna be alright."
OUT
posted by Big T @ 9:30 PM
4 Comments:
At 6:30 PM,
Megan said…
Change can be hard. Especially when you were comfortable before the change was made. I've had a rough 6 months. And maybe it's not healthy, but I question and scrutinize every damn aspect of my life. But I figure it's my life -- I have the right to think about it all I want. Just keep the lines of communication open with those you love. I might have made that mistake with J, (although communication has to be reciprocal...) and now I'm not totally sure what I want.
You'll get through. Keep ya head up.
At 9:50 PM,
Big T said…
I wasn't sure what to expect after publishing this post...thanks for the warm words and the encouragement. It's nice to know that other people deal with the same "issues" I deal with. Nice to know I'm not a freak :) Thanks Megs.
At 10:30 PM,
fantast bouyah said…
wow...too tall...i'm proud of the "you" you put on on your site...you kept it real...and i am really proud to see the growth i have seen in you since i've met you...continue to learn from listening to what you have in of you...many have felt your feelings...kinda like seeing the quarterback drop back and launch the ball out of the camera range...and those 4 seconds of believing and hope and "yee-ahya" are worth every incomplete you'll know..."wha-ot?"..."Fall mountains, just don't fall on me" - jimi
At 8:43 AM,
Big T said…
Great analogy, what's scary is that I actually understand it...Thanks for the kind words and encouragement, I'll keep truckin', living the dream, and learning as I go...that's the hard way, but it how I do. Great Jimi reference. Thanks again, you're a good friend.
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