Anybody know a Diesel Mechanic???
500 miles into our 800+ mile road trip home for the holidays, I take over driving again after filling up with gas in Memphis, TX. 15 minutes down the road, the car starts sputtering...wtf!? I take off the cruise and the car almost stalls out. Luckily we were rolling up on a town with population 25, Childress Texas, and we pull on the median right across the street from a the one and only gas station of the city, a shell gas station.
After risking my life pushing the car across the street, along with my gf trying her ass of to steer the car with no power, we finally push it into the middle of the gas station and jump out the car expecting the worst.
No fluids leaking? No smoke billowing out when I open the hood? No strange smells or anything...What could this be. It's like watching a re-run of Beverly Hills Cop I, when Taggart and Rosewoodfall for the infamous Banana in the tailpipe. The car won't even turn over now...Great, we're stuck in the middle of B.F.E. aka Childress, TX.
After calling Mazda roadside assistance and dealing with the pricks in their call center, we finally get a tow truck driver heading out our way, with an ETA of 2 hours. It's already 9:00pm and we realize that it's going to be a long night. After spelunking our way through the gas station and the Subway attached to it, we decided to curl up under our sleeping bags in the broke-dick car and try and catch some Z's.
The tow truck arrives 3 1/2 hours later. The driver is a complete redneck, and can't stop talking about Mexican-this, black folks-that, etc. After an awkward 2 hour drive back in the cab of the tow truck driver who sounds like Boomhauer, from King of the Hill, we finally arrive at our desitination. It's 1:30 am, we check into the Motel 6, and I'm asleep before my heads hits the pillow...
We then wake up the next morning to a wonderful surprise. The poor secretary at the Mazda dealership calls and informs us that we have a full tank of...diesel fuel. Now I'm no car expert, but aren't most cars supposed to run on unleaded gasoline. Yes they are dip-stick, next time don't try and force the bigger nozzle into the gas tank, apparently the nozzle on the diesel pump is bigger. Here's another tip for all you savy car folks, even if you push the unleaded button on the gas pump, if you pick up the diesel nozzle, it WILL give you diesel. Trust me...I am speaking from experience. Those damn liars...not everything is bigger in Texas.
Until next time, if it doesn't fit...don't force it.
OUT
After risking my life pushing the car across the street, along with my gf trying her ass of to steer the car with no power, we finally push it into the middle of the gas station and jump out the car expecting the worst.
No fluids leaking? No smoke billowing out when I open the hood? No strange smells or anything...What could this be. It's like watching a re-run of Beverly Hills Cop I, when Taggart and Rosewood
After calling Mazda roadside assistance and dealing with the pricks in their call center, we finally get a tow truck driver heading out our way, with an ETA of 2 hours. It's already 9:00pm and we realize that it's going to be a long night. After spelunking our way through the gas station and the Subway attached to it, we decided to curl up under our sleeping bags in the broke-dick car and try and catch some Z's.
The tow truck arrives 3 1/2 hours later. The driver is a complete redneck, and can't stop talking about Mexican-this, black folks-that, etc. After an awkward 2 hour drive back in the cab of the tow truck driver who sounds like Boomhauer, from King of the Hill, we finally arrive at our desitination. It's 1:30 am, we check into the Motel 6, and I'm asleep before my heads hits the pillow...We then wake up the next morning to a wonderful surprise. The poor secretary at the Mazda dealership calls and informs us that we have a full tank of...diesel fuel. Now I'm no car expert, but aren't most cars supposed to run on unleaded gasoline. Yes they are dip-stick, next time don't try and force the bigger nozzle into the gas tank, apparently the nozzle on the diesel pump is bigger. Here's another tip for all you savy car folks, even if you push the unleaded button on the gas pump, if you pick up the diesel nozzle, it WILL give you diesel. Trust me...I am speaking from experience. Those damn liars...not everything is bigger in Texas.
Until next time, if it doesn't fit...don't force it.
OUT
posted by Big T @ 3:54 PM
6 Comments:
At 4:31 PM,
Anonymous said…
Bet that impressed the folks! :)
At 7:55 PM,
Anonymous said…
sounds like a deleted scene from "planes, trains and automobiles"...no blood, no foul man!
"Until next time, if it doesn't fit...don't force it"...reminds me of a time i dated a wonderful girl from south korea...what a great time we had...putting that puzzle together...what were you thinking? sicko!
At 8:57 AM,
Big T said…
Yes, it totally impressed the folks. Hey-at least it kept the "tall jokes" to a minimum.
At 8:59 AM,
Big T said…
Lol Fantast...we both know where you were going with that one...Go BIG or go home, that's my motto.
At 10:56 PM,
Megan said…
Damn, I'm sorry but I had a good laugh at that. Banana in the tailpipe...awesome.
Nice redneck photo, I think I might have peed a little. Good thing I have a plastic slip cover on the couch...
At 9:18 PM,
Big T said…
Thanks Megs, it hurt the ego quite a bit :). I'll pull through though.
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